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Tony Hawk’s 10 Rules for Novelists

January 14, 2019 by campbell Leave a Comment

  1. Too many skateboard novels have been set at Burnside Skatepark. Choose a different venue.
  2. Make sure your characters wear pads and protection at all times, except for the bad guys (this shows that they are bad).
  3. Michiko Kakutani once admitted at an X-Games panel discussion that she would give a glowing review to any book where the main character does a 720 Christ Air on page 720. Do this.
  4. Grip it (your writing utensil) and rip it (all subsequent steps of the writing process).
  5. A cool place for a fight scene would be on a moving train where one of the train cars is a half pipe.
  6. DBAFS: Don’t Be Afraid to Shred
  7. A cool idea for a character would be a jaded old detective who looks like me and skateboards everywhere he goes.
  8. The detective could work for the Major Skateboard Crimes Unit and his “deck” (police slang for a skateboard) would have a siren and flashing lights.
  9. The detective could be named Anthony Hawkins.
  10. Don’t forget about National Skateboard Novel Dictation Month (NaSkNoDiMo).

Photo credits: “Bob tony hawk” by Tinou Bao, CC-BY-2.0 license; public domain beach photo by Martin Péchy.

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