Hello, Sharon! This is a postcard that I picked up back at Crater Lake in October. I had some animal adventures there: There was a mouse in my house. In fact, I had two mice in my house … they were living under the back seat of my van. I was concerned that they would chew through the wiring and leave me stranded, but I was more worried that the dogs would see the mice and chew up the van trying to get at them. Fortunately, my dogs, though lovable, are neither observant nor smart, and I was able to trap the mice without their knowledge.Hello Kathleen! Remember when people didn’t know what the Internet was? Now everybody knows and it’s everywhere. I need to find out how that happened, because I want everybody to know about and have access to a 1975 AMC Pacer. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all had 1975 AMC Pacers to go with our Internet?Hello Jennifer! It is spider season in the Pacific Northwest. From October through about January big ugly spiders — approximately the size of Mount Saint Helens — start getting chilly and they look for new winter homes indoors. The best defense against the winter spider season is to live in a house owned by a landlord who hasn’t lost his will to live and let the ever-encroaching Northwest vegetation engulf the home over a period of many anhedonic years. br>
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ps: Once my dog Kaida ate a spider and her head swole up to the size of a basketball. She was fine, though.The reverse side of the spider postcard.
Hello Johan! Thanks for backing my Kickstarter project and for sending along your address. I made this postcard between South Dakota and California in July. Now it’s November, and I’m heading north to Seattle tomorrow to visit my friends Megan and Reid for Thanksgiving. My family is scattered around the country in Colorado and Iowa and Massachusetts, so it’s nice to have friends in my neck of the woods. I’m glad I’m finally able to send this postcard; I like mammoths and this postcard is one of my favorites. Sorry for not reminding you to send your address; I should have sent an email! Hope you have a great holiday season.
Hello Kathleen! A couple weeks ago I went to an art event in Portland, where I was complaining about the heavy-handedness of all the political paintings. But this here collage is pretty heavy-handed. I’m hoping that heavy-handed collages are good like heavy-handed political punk rock, and not bad like heavy-handed political paintings.Hello Sharon! Last weekend I went camping and it rained. In the autobiography of my life, I’m going to title that chapter “A River Runs Through It, Where ‘It’ Refers to My Tent”. But it was still fun — I’ve never regretted going camping, even when it rains. Which is probably a good thing, since it rains a lot in the Pacific Northwest.Hi Kevin — Last weekend I went camping at Cougar Hot Springs, which is east of Eugene, Oregon. Hot springs usually attract a lot of weird people, and this one was no exception. But they also attract non-weird people. Everyone is there, and the rich and the poor and the sane and the crazy are all the same, enjoying a peaceable naked soak in a place that smells faintly of rotten eggs. It is scary to think that hot springs might be our most realistic model of a classless society.
Hi Andrew — There is much debate these days about the signs and causes of America’s declining pre-eminence, but the popular discourse has completely overlooked a very important factor: The lack of consumer interest in scrimshaw, especially in knife handles. I am doing my part by owning a scrimshaw-handled knife and also using the word “scrimshaw” at every opportunity. It is a fun word to say. Scrimshaw.Hi Erin — How is Alberta? I hope it’s great. What you see here is a typical scene along California’s Upper Sacramento River. For years and years scientists searched far and wide for the elusive thoracic rainbow chakra. Then they got a hot tip from a grizzled old yogi to check the Sacramento River. And do you know what the crazy thing is? Once they got there, they found it — but only because it was inside them the whole time.Evgeniya — When I think of smooth animals, I don’t actually think of hyenas. In fact, they are probably some of the least smooth animals out there. They are constantly yelling and pigging out on dead carcasses. The wise old owl, now that’s a smooth animal. You look at an owl, you’re like, “What’s he thinking?” But you look at a hyena, you’re like, “Oh, gross, he’s binging on entrails.”
Hi Beth — Before I glued a bunch of stuff to it, this was a postcard of Mount Shasta. Off the top of my head I can think of Shasta, Mountain Dew, and Sierra Mist when I try to identify mountain-related beverage names. As far as I know, mountains are the only geological feature to have sodas named for them. I am going to write the relevant authorities to petition for a High Plains Fresca and an Arroyo Twist Pepsi.Hey Jeff — If there are three things in life that make me happy, it’s basic math, lenticular clouds, and Mount Shasta. This postcard reflects my love of all three. The “serious” artists I know say that I need to stop being so literal in my work. I don’t know, maybe they’re right.Hello Mollie! This is Mount Lassen. As you can see, it’s a perfect triangle. No, not really — don’t be fooled by the photorealism; it’s just a lifelike collage. When I hiked to the top of Mount Lassen in college, a kid was up at the summit with his grandfather, flashing gang signs in the pictures his granddad took. Nothing connotes street cred like flashing gang signs on a camping trip with elderly people.