HEY REID! Greetings form California! I have some great news for you! It’s the dawning of the AGE OF AQUARIUS! Now, what does this super new thing mean to “the man on the street” (i.e., your typical “Joe Six-Pack”, ordinary schlubs like you and me)? Great question, my friend. I wondered the same thing, so I asked a hippie on the street. He was very excited and started to answer the question, but as soon as he opened his mouth lasers rained down from the sky like a multi-colored apocalypse hellstorm and his head exploded into a thousand pieces. A geyser of smoke and fire and heartworms and THC-scented glop shot out of his neck stump and then his lifeless body fell over. The hippie-corpse-on-pavement thud announced the arrival of a spectacular man who descended from the sky on rocket boots. He landed on the rapidly putrefying body and helpfully explained what this sweet new age of enlightenment means for us here on Earth.
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