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Star Wars Camping Adventures: Episode One

June 6, 2016 by campbell Leave a Comment

Watercolor-style drawing of Jar Jar Binks holding a Coleman space tent

I wrote and illustrated a children’s called Star Wars Camping Adventures. Go read it!

Discount Scooby-Doo: Chapter One

April 29, 2013 by campbell 2 Comments

The-Story-of-Discount-Scooby-Doo


Discount-Scooby-Doo

Lightning flashed in the distance, and rain lashed at the windows. The wind howled, and so did Discount Scooby-Doo. “Awooo! Awoooo!!!” he cried into the hideous night.

Lightning always bothered Discount Scooby. It reminded him of his birth. Discount Scooby was born in a storm not unlike this one, at a plastic factory near an experimental nuclear reactor. When lightning struck the reactor, it exploded. In the rubble of the once mighty factory, something stirred. A plastic figurine of Scooby-Doo had come to life, animated by the power of nucleons.

Something was wrong, though. This Scooby was mutated, hideous … “not of this sphere”, as the secret, post-accident investigation board would later report. The repressive military government of the Democratic People’s Republic of Lesser Nuclesia knew that Discount Scooby must be kept from the world. Yet they knew his very being held the promise of untold riches. And so they housed him in exile on an isolated atoll in the South Pacific.

Lightning flashed again, silhouetting a distant, Panamax-class freighter ship on the horizon. Then, seconds later, another bolt from the heavens, this one striking directly midship on the S.S. Babylon’s Desire, igniting a terrifying conflagration.

Discount Scooby-Doo ceased his howling as he watched the ship burn. The Babylon’s Desire had suffered a hull breach, and the vessel soon began to list as she took on water. Emergency flares arced across the sky as Scooby, with his eagle-like, radiation-enhanced vision, watched the crew abandon the far-off ship.

Help arrived near daybreak. Orange-and-white coastal defense choppers hovered above the burning hulk. Discount Scooby was transfixed.

And then, one by one, the precariously stacked shipping containers broke loose and fell into the sea. But the real break belonged to Discount Scooby. One of the containers was drifting right toward him, and it was labeled “jet skis”.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Postcard: Balance, order, and flux

April 18, 2013 by campbell Leave a Comment

Postcard-to-Jon-front

Postcard-to-Jon-back

Message on postcard:
Hey Jon — I found a free postcard. I’m sending it to you because I like the shape. Rounded corners on a rectangle. Get psyched, my friend.

Subscription postcards: The continuing search for knowledge, no bull

February 15, 2013 by campbell Leave a Comment

Postcard collage of David Hasselhoff in front of sunset, with text reading "the continuing search for knowledge"

Message on postcard:
Hello Jennifer! Last weekend I went camping on the Oregon coast, and on the way there and back I passed through Astoria. The city gives me the willies. It’s a bunch of steep hills right next to the water. You’re either vulnerable to a tsunami or a landslide. THERE’S NO ESCAPE. There is, however, the Oregon Film Museum, located in the old county jail. I didn’t visit, but I heard that the museum is devoted mostly to Kindergarten Cop.

 

Postcard collage of man opening door to reveal cowboy riding a bucking bull

Message on postcard:
Hello Carmel! Last weekend I went camping on the Oregon coast. On the way home I stopped in Astoria and had Bosnian food. I had no idea you could get Bosnian food in Astoria, but let me tell you, it was really good.

 

Postcard collage of spray-painted, stenciled office worker holding a paddle and kicking tennis player, with text reading "no bull"

Message on postcard:
Hello Mollie! Today on a hike at Silver Falls State Park I saw a ton of owl pellets on the trail. Based on my observations, I think owls must feel constantly sick to their stomachs. I am glad I don’t eat mice, and I’m not a big fan of mice. So I guess I’m glad that owls are out there eating mice on my behalf.

Hastily written postcard about frontier justice

January 30, 2013 by campbell Leave a Comment

I wrote this postcard back in October. Posting it today.

Hastily written postcard to Tom.
Hey Tom — Greetings from the gas station / post office / general store / restaurant in Fields, Oregon. I just sat down for breakfast here. I talked to a guy named Josh from Bend, and the waitress told me a story about a dude who showed up in town, stole a truck, and got his ass beat. Pistol-whipped, Old West style
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A photo of the Grand Canon on a sunny day, with a tilt-shift effect applied in post-processing.

Some desktop-wallpaper-sized photos from my last trip to Grand Canyon.

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Illustration of Jar Jar sitting in front of a gas station.

Star Wars Camping Adventures: Episode One

photo of Grand Canyon

Public comments on proposed revisions to NPS Director’s Order 21

Photograph of blue VW Vanagon in the desert, with the phrase Greetings from the Back of My Van overlaid above it

Greetings from the Back of My Van

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