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Art by mail: Big Bird, cartographer extraordinaire

November 10, 2012 by campbell 2 Comments

Message on postcard:
Hi Amanda! You said you like maps and birds, so you’re in luck! This is the story of the biggest map in the world, and its creation by the world’s biggest bird — Doctor E. Biggums Birdsong the Third, known to his friends as “Large Bird”, and known to my ace team of lawyers as “an entity similar to but legally distinct from Big Bird”. Even though he prefers the name “Biggums” or “Large Bird”, I just shorten the lawyer-assigned name and call him “Big Bird”.

Our story begins on the rim of Crater Lake. The dogs and I had hiked up to a viewpoint named in honor of the 19th-century explorer Frederick Raggle. Frederick Raggle Rock, or Fraggle Rock as it’s known to the locals, is one of the finest places to experience the beauty of Crater Lake. And its expansive view also makes it the most logical place to begin any cartographic survey of the Crater Lake area. It was there that I was astonished to find Big Bird hard at work with his Playskool Big Boy Laser Cartography and Geospatial Information Systems Play Kit.

“Big Bird!” I said. “What it is!”

“Oh, hi, Mike,” said Big Bird. “I’m just working on my greatest project yet.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

Big Bird looked really excited. “I’m so glad you asked! It’s an educational life-size map of Crater Lake! Every letter and number in the world will be there, climbing the mountains and swimming in the lake. They’ll be tens of meters tall, and cloned from the DNA of ancient numbers trapped in amber!”

Big Bird’s eyes narrowed. “The Children’s Cartographic Workshop will be building the map at Area 51 in Nevada.”

“Holy feathers, Big Bird,” I said, growing uneasy. The dogs’ hackles rose.

“I call it Alphanumeric Park … Life will find a way.”

Clouds blocked the sun. Lightning struck the far rim of the lake. But in the end, everything was fine.

Art by mail: The story of the finicky bolt in La Pine

November 9, 2012 by campbell Leave a Comment

Message on postcard:
Hello Jason! This is the story of the afternoon I spent in La Pine, Oregon. But really the story begins the day before I was in La Pine, when I was camped up on Newberry Crater. It’s a big volcanic caldera that’s home to a couple of large lakes, some lava flows, a mountain called Paulina Peak, and lots of obsidian (useful in the construction of deadly arrowheads).  When I woke up in the morning I noticed a little green puddle of coolant under my engine compartment.

A little investigation revealed seepage from where a coolant hose connected to an aluminum coolant pipe. The pipe was loose and rubbing against my exhaust system. Well that was no good! The hose-to-coolant pipe connection was subject not only to the mechanical stresses of a rattling pipe, but presumably also an extra thermal load thanks to heat transfer from the exhaust. I have no idea if I used any of those terms correctly, but they all sound plausible to me, so let’s go with it.

Anyway, I snugged up a clamp on the leaky hose, and then I discovered that the metal coolant pipe is secured in place by means of a bracket that affixes the pipe to a mounting point in the engine block. And the bolt that connects the bracket to the block was straight-up missing! Zounds! So I grabbed some spare bailing wire and strung the tube in place until I could make it into town.

The next day I’m in La Pine, and I stop at the hardware store. I need a bolt and a washer. But what size? Using my patented “eyeball-o-metric assay” technique, I estimated and threw a dollar down on a gamble. And I lost. Fortunately, Ace Hardware has a reasonable return policy. After several trials, I was able to rule out 10 mm, 12 mm, and larger diameter bolts, so, yeah, okay, 8 mm it is. But what thread pitch? 1.50? 1.25? 1.00? Third time’s a charm. At this point the cashier just waves me through, preferring not to tally the four-cent differences in cost.

And then I installed the thing. Because the engine bay was full of hoses and sharp obstructions, this required me to squat over the engine with my hands plunged between my legs. The kind citizens of La Pine seemed to think I needed help, but they were wrong.

Art by mail: The importance of being prepared

November 8, 2012 by campbell Leave a Comment

Collage: A community of mammals in space.

Message on postcard:
Hello Patrick! This postcard is all about the importance of being prepared. I drove probably thirty thousand million billion miles this year, and by the time I set off on this last leg of travel I felt like I had everything down to a fine art: Throw all your stuff in the van and drive until you make it somewhere nice. Pretty simple formula.

But for this last bit of travel across Oregon I decided to build upon the lessons I’d already learned. I invested in a guidebook — by which I mean I threw all my stuff in the van, camped out in Oregon’s Salmon-Huckleberry Wilderness my first night out, and then decided to stop in the tiny town of Welches to see what I might be able to learn at their public library.

And I learned two things. One, that they have guidebooks, and two, that they have a copy machine. And so I found the guidebook pages that described my planned destinations, and I xeroxed those pages. Boom.

The Welches library isn’t much bigger than a dentist’s waiting room. But it would be the waiting room for a very large dental practice. Where the patients are librarians and books. And also grungy travelers. And the work they do results in healthy smiles. Does that metaphor work? I think it works.

 

Letters from the road: The Indian Heaven Wilderness report

October 17, 2012 by campbell Leave a Comment

The full comic. Click to embiggen.
Collage from reverse side of the comic. Click to embiggen.

Letters from the road: The scene in Hood River

October 16, 2012 by campbell Leave a Comment

Hey Duncan! Greetings from Hood River, Oregon. I started drawing this in a coffee shop, but left when it was invaded by a skater kids. Now I’m parked on a patch of gravel near an I-84 on-ramp, and it’s way more peaceful.

I just moved. Now I’m at a nearby county park overlooking the Columbia River Gorge. When I finished writing that last paragraph I realized that I could probably do even better than a gravel patch near an interstate. I’m sitting at an oak-shaded picnic table overlooking a beautiful river … near an interstate.

Today I woke up near the east fork of the Hood River, hiked up to a place called Lookout Mountain, and then hiked another trail out to the tricky-to-spell Tamanawas Falls. It was a pretty good day.

The night before last I camped up on a Forest Service road near treeline on Mount Hood. When I woke up there yesterday I met two vegans, one of whom explained the outcome of the Vietnam War as a result of our adversaries’ ability to subsist on rice alone. He also explained that you can eat moldy rice. I am skeptical.

This is a bonus comic that I sent to Duncan. He’s a friend, so I figured he would forgive the hastily made drawings. Click to embiggen.
This is a collage from the reverse side of one of the pages in Duncan’s letter. Click to embiggen.
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