[Hey, this is rather dumb. But I like the title.]

Call me Thomas Friedman.

Every once in a while I have to go to sea. There are no reliable jobs on land, but that’s okay, because I’m an income entrepreneur, and it’s cool to be away from home for years at a time. I actually like saying goodbye to my family and everyone who cares about me. This is one of the great freedoms afforded by the gig economy.

I caught a cab from JFK to a whaling vessel. My driver was named Queequeg.

“What can you tell me about whaling?” I asked Queequeg.

“The world used to be predictable,” said Queequeg. “But now it isn’t. The Cold War order to which we grew accustomed is no more. Today the world is hot, flat, and whaley. Will America find its way in this strange new place? Sometimes I wonder. The next six months will be crucial.”

Later I got on a boat.

“Aye, ye land-lubbin’ scurvey dog,” said Captain Ahab. “So, ye wish to ship with us. What be ye qualifications?”

“My mustache gives me +9 seafaring,” I explained. “The world is changing and this will be my greatest gig yet.”

“Argh, ’tis true, ’tis true, the world is changing fierce,” agreed Ahab. “I remember when ‘the cloud’ was part of a squall, and 4G was just a berth. Now ye land-lubbers be making everything on earth different, even the sea! But even though things are different and scary, I have to agree that they are much better.”

We shipped out and disrupted a herd of whales. Everything turned out fine!