Collage Archives - Page 4 of 22

Industry secret

April 27, 2015 by campbell Leave a Comment

Postcard collage of bird and Hells Canyon with text that says Legendary Adventures Require Legendary Flavor. Reverse side of postcard collage showing Hells Canyon and bird.

Message on postcard:
Shannon and Ann — It was good to hear from you! Sorry I can’t make it to your summer party this year. The dogs are good and I’m working as a hiking guide here at Grand Canyon. You might be wondering, then, why I’m sending you a postcard of Hells Canyon. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Sometimes, when Grand Canyon is full, we’ll substitute in another canyon. Hells Canyon is a popular replacement, but we’ll also use Cataract Canyon, Black Canyon of the Gunnison, Canyon de Chelly, Waimea Canyon, and the Columbia River Gorge. Every now and then we’ll do a fjord or a crevasse, but they’re a little tricky. Visitors almost never notice, though.

Radically honest Facebook updates

March 30, 2015 by campbell Leave a Comment

Message on postcard:
Hey man — It feels good to finally get this off my chest. It’s been so awkward dodging all the questions. “Why do you sleep on the floor?” “How come there’s fur everywhere?” “Is that a bone you’re chewing on?” Well, I’m a dog. There, I finally said it. God, that feels better.

Scientifically designed

January 2, 2015 by campbell Leave a Comment

Message on postcard:
Hi Wyatt — Greetings from my home in Arizona, and thanks for requesting a postcard. It’s car themed, probably because I’ve been futzing around with cars lately. We don’t have any testosterone-promoting cars; we have my Vanagon and my fiancé’s busted-ass Ford Focus. This weekend I’m replacing the valve cover gasket and a motor mount on the Ford. I’m extremely insecure about my manhood, so before I begin the job I’ll be consuming a testosterone milkshake made out of old truck tires.

-Mike

Post-postcard update:
After I wrote this postcard, I fixed the above-mentioned problems and some miscellaneous other issues. It required a trip to the junkyard to pull parts. While there, I saw a certain white Ford Bronco.

Average Man

December 31, 2014 by campbell Leave a Comment

Postcard collage of a glum-looking man in front of industrial backdrop, with text that says "Average Man" Reverse side of postcard, with lots of text, and a picture of a cut of meat

Message on postcard: $Detail of text from reverse side of postcard: "The hypothesis is based on simple math: A typical person can store about 2,500 calories of carbohydrates but carries a reservoir of perhaps 50,000 from fat."$
Dear Flink: Most people don’t know this, but Friedrich Nietzsche devoted most of Thus Spoke Zarathustra to a long-winded discussion of the caloric reserves of the übermensch. According to Nietzsche, the übermensch can store ten thousand calories of carbohydrates, and ten million calories of fat. But even these numbers, inconceivable as they may seem, may be underestimates. Today, modern philosophers estimate übermensch caloric reserves at fifty million from carbohydrates, and one billion from fat.