Message on postcard:
Hey Witzke — I know sometimes life comes at you fast. In the words of French artist Paul Gauguin, “Where do we come from? What are we? Where are we going? Is it possible to have a baby with a cow?” Yes you can and it is never too late. Life is just not complete until you have a human-calf hybrid. People who don’t have them will never understand how fulfilling it is. You never know what love is until you look into the eyes of a hideous baby cow and see your face there. Also, it is selfish not to have a baby with a cow, and choosing not to do so makes you a bad person.