Message on postcard:
Hey Mikey — I hope you and Chris come to the post-wedding party that Mandy and I are having next summer. You’ll want to check with Mandy for specifics; right now I’m busy making Daft Punk cancer jokes.
OG: Original Geologist
Message on postcard:
Hey Stew — Did you know? Wilma Flintstone was the world’s first geologist. Instead of a rock hammer, she had a pterodactyl who wore a crash helmet. “You think your job stinks!” he would say after pounding rocks with his head. Happy belated birthday, man.
Serious chunks
Message on postcard:
Dear Hungus,
Chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks. Chunks, chunks, chunks… chunks and chunks. Chunks chunks chunks-chunks; chunks chunks chunks. Chunks chunks? Ha! Chunks. Chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks chunks.
Sincerely,
Mike
PS: Chunks chunks chunks Witzke?
Wild oats, domesticated animals
Message on postcard:
Hey Witzke — I know sometimes life comes at you fast. In the words of French artist Paul Gauguin, “Where do we come from? What are we? Where are we going? Is it possible to have a baby with a cow?” Yes you can and it is never too late. Life is just not complete until you have a human-calf hybrid. People who don’t have them will never understand how fulfilling it is. You never know what love is until you look into the eyes of a hideous baby cow and see your face there. Also, it is selfish not to have a baby with a cow, and choosing not to do so makes you a bad person.
Spec it out
Message on postcard:
Hey Witzke — Did you know that a recent study conducted by a prominent men’s magazine found that over 90% of leprechauns hide their gold in Joshua trees? That’s insane!
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